From cheating to controlling the chaos when college kids are home for semester break, here's your Family Fix from your YAYA-therapist!
EXCERPTS from RADIO/TV SHOWS in PHILADELPHIA.
Family FIX from YAYAtherapy:
Anger, although understandable, destroys children who are inducted into the parenting wars.
Here is your Family FIX from divorce expert, Michele Iaia.
ALWAYS NEW YOU WEBSITE asked divorce experts to give moms proactive steps that they can take to minimize the strain on the children, alleviate the guilt and stop the hurting. Read their thoughtful tips. http://www.alwaysnewyou.com/life_transitions_you/divorce_remarriage/for-divorced-moms-its-all-about-the-kids.html
Tip #1: Boundaries, BOUNDARIES , and MORE BOUNDARIES.
Now that you're a single Mom, there is a strong temptation to have one of your children be the "emotional stand-in", for your EX! This IS never good because it is AS damaging to them as it is to YOU. The child gains too much power and you give up too much of yours. Parents and children should never reverse roles — until you're 90 yrs old, incontinent, AND incompetent. More importantly, it is not the role of the child to fill the parents needs–no matter how needy and depleted you are — that's what girlfriends and cousins are for! Once a child — or children– are parentified, the child is put in the untenable position of meeting the parents needs. That's not the JOB of the kid or the PARENT! PARENTS meet kids needs! THERAPY ALERT: Wherever there is parentificaton, there is dysfunction!
MOM-cations are all the rage. Family therapist Michele Iaia says they are wonderful for Moms, and even Dad and the kids benefit.
Michele Iaia's relationship expertise was featured in The Philadelphia Magazine on summertime cheating: Shore House Confidential.